223/365

223/365, originally uploaded by britrosewhite.

Last night I went to bed at 8 PM. I woke up around 6 AM to watch the sunrise, but it was pouring outside. I fell asleep again around 8 AM and then woke to find we were supposed to be leaving by 7 AM. So for the first time, the Kenyans had to wait for the Americans. Wups!

Pastor Chola had to lead worship at church at 4 PM so we booked it across Kenya and pulled into the church at 3:59 PM. After 6 hours in a car with 9 people and one 20-minute rest-stop in the middle, Amy and I were happy to stretch our legs.

We stopped by Nakumatt for a few essentials then came back to the apartment where we’re staying at for the next month. I missed this bed!! The mattresses here are sort of like sleeping on the floor. I got used to them at the hotel and slept rather well (obviously), but this bed is cushy and big. I’ve never had a bed bigger than a twin size, so this is like heaven.

So after throwing down my backpack filled with 10 days worth of dirty clothes, I went straight to the kitchen to bake some dessert and warm up leftover pizza and pasta we had in the freezer, then sat down to watch a movie. After that I took a hot shower and I dried my hair because it was sooo warm and cozy. After all those days of air drying it feels so soft and looks so long...and I cut my fingernails, and I put on lotion, and I cleaned my glasses...all things I normally breeze through in a hurry. I don’t normally enjoy the processes of getting clean and getting ready, but not tonight. And I never loved night gowns so much.

Oh, and Amy made coffee. Real coffee from a real coffee pot! I was smuggling instant coffee into breakfast at the hotel. Such a cheap imitation and also severely desperate on my part.

It really doesn’t take much to make me happy. I still can’t help but feel selfish. So many people live without these little things and also, they don’t need them to be happy. Even driving today, I felt bad about feeling bad about my legs being cramped. People cram into cars here and travel long distances on a regular basis. They miss showers on a regular basis. They don’t have complete ceilings. They have flimsy blankets. Africa regularly reminds me of all of the things I don’t deserve. Even the little things that I think I need to survive. Can I be happy with nothing? Can I stop thinking “I deserve, I need, I should have” or not? Others work harder than me and love more than me, yet they have less than me. I can’t help but think you’d expect me to share some of the questions I have or things I’m learning on this blog. So far I haven’t, really. But there are many things to mull over.

My mind is racing, actually. Most thoughts are probably best suited for my journal, but I’m sure a few will spill over here. I think it’s also expected that these three months are going to change me, but I’d like to focus on other people. I’ll be an after-thought. The change in me is a given. Tomorrow we are supposed to meet to map out our last two months. I’ve been praying that the Lord will guide us and give us opportunities along the way. I’m ready to work and be worked. I’m ready to meet people, to help people, to care for people. You never ever feel equipped for this kind of thing. Instead you feel lazy, selfish, and under-prepared. The great thing is, the Lord uses our weaknesses to work in big ways. I suppose it’s because our pride is out of the way. It’s all a part of His great mystery.